June 26, 2003

• ren and stimpy, mens network, tonight. hope it's one of the newer ones!!!

  
  

  naogopa simba na meno yake, siogopi mtu kwa  maneno yake

  
  

  i feel like when i say tribe, it seems the automatic understanding is something in a depraved area or some back country experience. tribe to me is a group of people who would all like to move forward and enjoy sharing in the experience with others without the situation becoming closterphobic. a group in which they can basically trust each other and gossip would not come in handy.

  
  

  there are several community tribes in the us, and they all have plumbing. only problem is, is that most are religously or philosophically influenced. you don't have to be religous or philiosophical to be good.

  
  

  zendik is one of these tribes. when i was 20 i wanted to join with them. looking back now, still occasionally reading thier material, i'm glad i didn't. well, it goes both ways i guess. i think i would have learned a lot, but at the time there would have been nothing for me to offer them. i doubt i would have learned the things i did if i would have gone off and joined them (i would have learned other things). now that i'm older i appreciate my mindfull freedom...i like a lot of thier philosphies, but would have gotten dreadfully bored after hearing about them every week, just rearranged.

  
  

  i appreciate the idea of the community tribe to learn from builders, electricians, bricklayers, cooks, etc...in an apprenticeship sort of way rather than having to donate my life to one particular skill. i doubt i would want to be a builder all my life. but i would like to be able to build my home and help others (yes, i am interested in the habitat for humanity programs).

  
  

  i like the idea of donating myself to a community. dry me up, wrap me up and put me on display. j/k

  
  

  other notes. made some homemade mac and cheese for two with chicken last nite. plans fell thru yesterday, with everything. as usual. but since the man worked from home, i guess it won't count as a day off!!! so we can use that day to go visit relatives in texas for the 4th. i won't have time to stop off and visit x. people, but boy, i wish i did!!!

  
  

  made a practice dress! can use it as a pattern for making a hawaiian dress i used to own and am now trying to duplicate cause i can't find the original and am 30 pounds heavier than when i first wore it back in highschool. but i used stretchy material....so i guess i'll have to add a few inches to the pattern. finished sewing a block of old scraps together for a small patchwork quilt, need border material and a back and an inside nor it. also remodeled the strip of material i was using as a swamp cooler thing on the stand-up fan. i ought to patent it. made two "throw at the cat pillows"  (not throw pillows for the cats), the material has cats on it .

  
  

  put on this wrap skirt that i bought for a couple bones at a thrift store way-back, it basically fits! and reminds me of how i used to keep my stomache taught. as in, i was constantly aware of being viewed by the public at my jobs, so i used to like suck in my stomach, over the years it had made me have a flat stomache. then i got married. and i taught kids. they both love you no matter what, so they don't notice when you wear loose clothes, that you're losing tummy muscles and filling in.

  
  

  finally started working on that mural again. added some shadowing to a couple buildlings and am carefully trying to figure out what order i need to paint in.

  
  

  i had a dream the other night that i said 'hi' to someone in front of a bank (they were sitting on the front bench), they said hi back. i realised coming out of the dream, that the whole thing was about awareness. she was blind and it didn't matter, i still said hi.

  • 12:12 pm
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